Worthy

There are great people throughout history;

big names and small who have inspired me.

Words etched into pages that withstood the tests of time.

Speeches that have made my hair stand on end.

Songs whose melodies and lyrics have lived in me since.

I have felt these people and the feelings they convey travel through my bones after they sink into my skin.

I’ve felt their intention in my bloodstream.

I feel like these artists, activists, writers and friends are worthy.

Worthy of recognition

Worthy of respect

Worthy of their titles

“Writer”

“Artist”

“Revolutionary”

What I would give to be like them.

To feel that I can be worthy in the eyes of even myself.

To feel stirred by the power of my own prose.

To ignite inspiration in others as well as myself.

I often feel unworthy, unhinged, and unremarkable.

I’ve been through the trials and tribulations time has saddled me with.

I want to feel myself worthy of grace in the face of my hardship.

I have long measured my worth in the opinions of others.

I take out a long yellow tape and place it next to my accomplishments.

Measure my worth in terms of the trivial.

Am I attractive enough?

How many people like me?

How many events have I been to this month?

How many people enjoyed my work lately?

I feel like Skee-Lo when he wrote I Wish, constantly yearning for more.

I am a writer

A lover

A daughter

A friend

A student

I am an artist

I am the echoes of the brilliance others have instilled in me.

I am where my light lives.

When I can’t reach myself the way others have reached me

I will still say: “I am worthy”

When my voice graces my ears I won’t dismiss myself

I will say: “I am worthy”

When I find the beauty in myself

I will say: “I am worthy”

I can say: “Jade Williams is worthy.”

Because I am.